This is me at my biggest and heaviest. My grandma had just passed and I was blessed to be her hospice nurse. Needless to say, eating my feelings to grieve got me through sleepless nights. I ate. I ate and I didn’t care about the consequences. I just wanted to feel good. Baked goods, Doritos, and beer made me feel good. One morning I woke up, looked in the mirror, and had thought my face was swollen. I ignored this and would actively avoid looking at my face in the mirror. Then when COVID happened, I reevaluated my health and realized I didn’t have stamina or reserve to be the best nurse, wife, and mother I needed to be. I had no energy and was anxious all the time. The guilt from eating junk food made me feel bad about myself so I thought, “I might as well eat the Cheetos anyway.” I was a snake eating my own tail.